50 Shades of WTF did I just watch
As you already know by now, I am a writer. As every great writer, which I am striving to be, I also read a lot, I research a lot and then I try to implement my research into my writing.
One lovely day I heard talking about a book, called 50 Shades of Grey ( very interesting title, I was " Wooow ... thriller, crime, mystery, suspense! ) And there was this huge hype about it.
Excited as hell I found a 50 Shades Of Grey pdf version, downloaded and started reading it.
My first reaction: What in the Hades I am reading?
"His pointer finger circled my puckered love cave. ‘Are you ready for this?’ he mewled, smirking at me like a mother hamster about to eat her three-legged young."
Literary genius in itself and women get turned on apparently by such sophisticated style.
The style was that of one insecure teenage girl, that has no touch with reality, has no idea about the subject matter and the style was an insult to the literary world, to readers and to the eyes. I mean, I am not a professional writer either, but I lost count of how many books I read in my life and I can assure you the number is in the hundreds. Even my writing is actually good, if I do say so myself.
The thing is that although she was writing fan fiction, which nobody can fault her for, the gist of her books is glorification of a sociopathic relationship. The main character is a typical Ego Narcissistic Sociopath and a Sadist and What In the Name of All the Universe, ancient gods and sanity is this shite about?
"INSIDE ME" I gasp, and all the muscles in my belly clench. My inner goddess is doing the dance of seven veils"
"My inner goddess is jumping up and down, clapping its hands like a five year old"
"My inner goddess fist pumps the air above her chaise lounge"
"My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves." (Why does Ana say "inner goddess" so often?)
"My inner goddess is beside herself, hopping from foot to foot." REALLY!?
I also watched the movie. The most boring thing I ever saw. Of course, that was because at the time I did not have a choice for "making impression" reasons. So I had to capitulate. It was drown out, tooth removal without any anesthesia.
Then, one night, bored as hell we come to the 50 Shades of Black – Parody on the theme 50 Shades of Grey. I could not get past first 30 minutes. It was worse than the original movie. The subject matter is so bad that one cannot even make fun of it. The amount of money spent on it could be well used for homeless children or education.
Those hours I wasted on all the versions of 50 Shades of WTF – did I just read / saw I shall never get back. The good thing about it was that I know what kind of a writer I shall not ever be.
Till next time,
